26 in three days

I'll be 26 in a few days and I have been trying to figure out if my life is lined up too be were it is going to be for the next few years of my life.  I enjoy the business I am in but with the recession and the fact that every other state is doing a tax incentive I have only worked on one film this year and it doesn't look like I'm going to work to many more this year.  My agent for roles sucks and I don't work enough at being an actor to make my self marketable.  I have a girlfriend who hates herself on a daily basis and I don't do well on making her feel better because I look at a low self esteem and self doubt as low qualities and decide not to cater to them.  I have a feeling I invest in peoples lives just to cash out once they have a trait I can't mesh with.  I have a beautiful little boy that I hope looks up to me the way I never did to my father.  I hope I'm not fucking up his life.  I wish I looked at everyone in my life with at least half of the love I look at my son.  I've always envisioned myself stopping bullets and saving lives never looking down at people and not holding stake in the human condition its very disheartening and the worst thing about it is I'm beginning to nit pick myself like I do others